Northern California Views

"Gewürztraminer (???v??tst?a?mi:n?) is an aromatic wine grape variety that performs best in cooler climates. It is sometimes referred to colloquially as Gewürz ... Gewürztraminer is a variety with a pink to red skin color, which makes it a "white wine grape" as opposed to the blue- to black-skinned varieties commonly referred to as "red wine grapes". The variety has high natural sugar and the wines are white and usually off-dry ..."   --- from the ancient archives of Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Mountain Overlook, Gewürztraminer (LNS) -- Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be the virtual owner and ruler of your own country? Yes, so have we. That's why we sent reporter Sluggo Jones of our Legena News Service (LNS) to interview Duke Rinehart McCarthy, leader of the Grand Duchy of Gewürztraminer. Gewürztraminer (or Gewürz as it is more commonly called) is located near Flesh in what is known as the Wine Area.

Background:

Gewürz is a modestly sized planetoid about 60% of the size of Terra in the old Central System. About 90% of the population consists of immigrants from the Black Forest area. Gewürz was developed and terralysed by an independent group of investor-developers about 70 years ago and sold to a second group of small businessmen and lords from the Black Forest

The leader of the McCarthy family at that time was able to purchase about 4% of the total number of shares of the new emerging nation. Roughly 65% of all shares were bought by families who ended up owning from 4% to 6% portions. The remaining 35% of all shares sold were bought by smaller investors in increasingly smaller portion sizes.

The first Grand Duke of the new duchy was another former Black Forest minor lord, a Barry Münster. But through a combination of sharp financial maneuvering and the cobbling together of effective (if sometimes wavering and double dealing) political alliances the current Duke's father, Poulus McCarthy, was able to seize power in the sixth year after the duchy's founding. Reinhart inherited the family fortune, ducal title, and leadership of the duchy upon his father's passing 10 years ago

Reinhart is liked well enough by the ruling nobility to maintain his position for now. He has a positive and outgoing cheery personality. Is known to be generous and kind to members of the commoner classes and servants. But Barry Münster's oldest son, Calvin, is considered to be one of several longer-term potential rivals for the throne.

By and large the ruling class of Gewürz sees itself as progressive and forward-looking while maintaining some, but not all, important traditional values and links to the mother country, the Black Forest. Gewürz has adopted many of the customs and practices of Legena society, including the adoption of high-level personal technology and the practice of living nude most of the time.

But many of these "modern benefits" are available only to those who are wealthy enough to afford them and are generally restricted to the upper ruling classes. And many of the attitudes and practices of the "old country", such as brutal punishment of so-called "criminals" and the clearly insane, are part of the norm in Gewürz society

For example, Gewürztraminer continues to maintain and even build upon an aggressive, well armed police force and maintains active prisons and/or jails in every major city and small town. At the same time hospitals and hospital staffs are far smaller in number in comparison to the size of population, than they are in Legena. Doctors and nurses are limited to the treatment of people who are merely physically ill. And people can be arrested, detained, tried, and thrown into prison for a large number of "crimes" most Legenians would consider clear mental health problems which deserve treatment, continued monitoring, and cure instead of punishment.

The Duke In Person:

Sluggo Jones had no trouble getting an appointment at the ducal palace to interview his Majesty. After a short wait he was ushered into the Duke's ornate private working office. The Duke was standing by his desk apparently wearing nothing but a broad smile and a ribbon hanging loosely around his neck. A gold medallion bearing a copy of the Duke's official seal was fastened to the ribbon, pulling the entire adornment to just below his Majesty's chest.

Officially the Duke is described as being an even six-foot tall and in "really good shape". He has no hair anywhere on his body except for "a generous and healthy patch upon his head, which is often styled in one of the more popular designs of the day". This is also the way the Duke is pictured in his official holograms.

Sluggo reports he was a bit taken aback with the Duke's actual appearance. By Legena standards the Duke was clearly out of shape and "actually a bit gaudy." Rather than the slim and trim figure publicized and expected, the Duke is actually given to fat. Sluggo estimated his waist size as roughly 42 to 44 inches. His upper arms are a bit thick and flabby as are his thighs.

His hair was nicely coiffed, but it changed color and shade every two minutes or so; going from black to brown, brown to gold, gold to red or orange, then to light blue, dark blue, a deep and rich green, and finally back to black. When the Duke casually turned around to retrieve some item from his desk Sluggo noticed his Majesty was wearing a large non-permanent animated tattoo of a dragon dancing or struggling with a giant eagle on his back. The color of the tattoo changed in synchrony with the color of the Duke's hair.

And Sluggo suspected the Duke was not wearing or using a modern force field subcutaneous body protection and enhancement mesh, such has been standard in Legena for the last 50 or so years. A subtle glow about the Duke's body clearly showed a personal protection field was in force. The kind which would undoubtedly protect him from assaults by knife, a laser gun, or any common hand-held weapon.

But, Sluggo reports, the Duke's body exuded a persistent personal odor which was slightly offensive and not modified in any way by pleasurable aromatic scents. This suggests the Duke's force field did not provide the ordinary capability to automatically clean, scent, or perfume himself.

[As every child of high school age knows, each Legenian is outfitted with a subcutaneous nano-mesh shortly after reaching the age of 15 years. The standard mesh in use for the last 50 years delivers technology which provides a defensive shield against physical attack by common hand-held weapons. The field is also regularly used to quickly clean the entire body. At the push the left nipple it generates a field which progressively moves up or down the body, painlessly eliminating the microscopically small first layer of skin cells .  Individuals may optionally purchase enhancements like those which allow the application of perfume scents and animated temporary tattoos (commonly called "toos"). The mesh also provides remote monitoring of an individual's physical and mental health condition, instantaneous communications with others via the planet-wide net, and body heating and cooling services. Before the age of 15 the health monitoring and communications services are provided by a personal robotic companion who accompanies the individual everywhere. Once an individual receives their mesh most give up the use of a personal robotic companion.

The LNS has confirmed the mesh used by even the wealthiest Gewürz lord is capable of providing only personal protection and heating and cooling services.  A Legena-style mesh requires a level of infrastructure support (particularly for communications services) not currently available in Gewürz.]

Despite these deficiencies Sluggo says he found the Duke to be an outgoing, witty, and cheerful person whom one might enjoy spending some time with. As long as you recognized and accepted his personal and cultural limitations.

The Interview:

Taking Sluggo's arm the Duke suggested they move outdoors to his spacious garden's for the actual interview. Once there the interviewer and interviewee quickly got down to business.

Sluggo Jones:  Many Legenians are very interested in the smaller, independent nations which inhabit the so-called Wine Area of nearby space. But they don't know very much about them. In what ways would you say the Grand Duchy of Gewürztraminer is like Legena and in what ways is it markedly different?

Duke Reinhart:  (Putting a fatherly like arm around Sluggo and pulling him close while they walk slowly through the garden.) Well, I think there are many ways in which Gewürz is a lot like Legena or strives to be like Legena. The first, and most obvious, similarity is that we all strive to live a free and open nudist lifestyle. That we are not hampered by the need for clothing or ashamed before our peers because we live naked. We do not exhibit uncontrollable lust in the presence of other nude people of any age. We do not have the hangups and sexually repressed fears of people who feel they must cover up certain body parts always. Our children are not taught shame and harassment for living a natural lifestyle. And, in most social and business interactions, we do not make judgments about the role or status of people we meet based on their clothing.

Secondly, both of our societies have a healthy respect for, and enjoy the benefits provided by, a continuing pursuit of new knowledge and emerging technologies. And we eagerly pursue the application of new technologies for the benefit of each of us individually and as a whole society.

But we are different from Legena in that we are fairly recent immigrants from the Black Forest; a nation with a strong cultural, political, and religious history. That background means a lot to us. It has provided us with time-proven traditions and practices which have served us in good stead and continue to do so to this day. The values we derived from our history must and will continue to guide us as we move forward in time. Indeed, we feel Legena itself has things about values you can learn from Gewürztraminer.

Differences In Classes And Privileges

Sluggo Jones:  I noticed you said the most important way Legena and Gewürztraminer are similar is that we all seek to live a nudist lifestyle. Legena has been a completely nudist society since its founding roughly 1,850 years ago; first as a movement on old Terra, then as an independent and unified nation in its own star system. But on the way from the space port to your palace I saw lots of people engaged in manual labor or simply walking about who were fully clothed. And I see your servants, gardeners, and soldiers are all wearing clothes. Back on Legena we would find that very odd. Why is that?

Duke Reinhart:  (After some hesitation) Well, to put it simply, most of those people can't afford to be nude.

Sluggo Jones:  They can't afford to be nude?

Duke Reinhart:  No. The privilege of being nude can be expensive. One needs to be protected against the elements. And even Legenians wear some form of protective clothing when they are performing certain types of work.

You also need to keep some history in mind when you are comparing our two nations. When we took possession of and moved to Gewürz it was a fully terralysed planet. So we have always lived on the surface, open to the weather and other elements.

Legena, on the other hand, was a bare planet with no surface atmosphere, plant life, or even water. So your first pioneers, many of whom had been miners on Terra, found it easier and cheaper to bore and build underground. Your people have spent most of your existence living in underground apartments, conducting business in underground cities, and growing and harvesting foods in underground farms. That also made it easier for you to seal off and regulate your artificial atmospheres. So you could easily maintain environments where everyone could be comfortably nude all time. And you did. Your planet only became terralysed in, what, the last 200 years?

On a per capita basis Legena is much wealthier than Gewürz. You have a far more developed industrial and technological base that we have. So it's easier to keep all of your people comfortable and warm while they live as freely as they wish.

Sluggo Jones:  So, you are saying here in Gewürz only the wealthiest people can afford to live nude? That living nude is a sign of having money and privilege?

Duke Reinhart:  Yes. You could say that's the way it is now.

Sluggo Jones:  Does that mean it could change? That things could get better for the average person or lower economic classes?

Duke Reinhart:  Well, that's something that comes up from time to time for discussion among members of my Royal Council. A lot of people like things the way they are now. The divisions and rankings among the classes. It's a settled system. One which makes most people comfortable. Everyone generally knows their place and what they are expected to do in their lifetime. That doesn't mean an individual can't move up in society if they are hard-working, smart, and able to take advantage of opportunities which life provides. I could tell you stories.

Sluggo Jones:  Yes. I'm sure you could. But there are some other things I'd like to touch on in this interview if you don't mind.

Duke Reinhart:  No, of course not. What else would you like to know?

On Matters of Religion

Sluggo Jones:  In the past the Black Forest and Legena suffered several wars between them. Often these wars were seen as attempts by the religious leadership in the Black Forest to impose their beliefs on Legena. So many people in Legena continue to be very suspicious of the ultimate motives of the Black Forest, the traditional Christian church and its Pope headquartered in the Black Forest, and allies or nations which are associated with (or in the case of Gewürz derivative of) the Black Forest. How much influence does the Christian church and the Pope have in Gewürz? Could this be a problem between our two countries?

Duke Reinhart:  That's actually a very good question. And another point where we are somewhat closer to Legena than the Black Forest. Yes, we are by and large Christians. But, no, we do not recognize or adhere to the dictates of the Black Forest Pope. We have our own Pope. He is not selected by the Black Forrest Church. He is appointed by me in consultation with my Royal Council.

Sluggo Jones:  Really? I did not know that. Is he a nudist like the rest of the upper classes? Or does he and his clergy do things differently, like wear clothes in empathy with the working classes?

Duke Reinhart:  Oh, you must meet him! And such strange questions you seem to ask. Yes, he is a nudist like the rest of us who run things around here. In fact, he is an important member of my Royal Council. All the higher clergy are nudists. Only the parish priests, those who regularly minister to the working class and the poor, where something like the clothes which are worn in the Black Forest by parish priests. Yes, you really must meet him. I know you'll like him. His name is Pope Rostamon Marley.

Sluggo Jones:  So the Gewürz church is separate and independent from the Black Forest Church?

Duke Reinhart:  Yes, indeed it really is. In fact, we often feel our church is under attack from those who run the church in the Black Forest. They would like nothing better than to take over and force us back into their fold. I believe this is another area where Legena can help us maintain our independence.

Sluggo Jones:  I guess we'll just have to wait and see about that. Only time will tell.

Duke Reinhart:  Do you attend church regularly, Mr. Jones?

Sluggo Jones:  Um, no, I don't go to any church.

Duke Reinhart:  Going to church is very important. It's what gives us internal spiritual strength to help us get through the hard times. Almost everybody in Gewürz goes to church at least once a week. How many people in Legena go to church on a regular basis?

Sluggo Jones:  It's very unusual for anyone in Legena to go to church or practice any form of religion.

Duke Reinhart:  Don't you believe in a higher power?

Sluggo Jones:  No, such a belief would be considered a form of mental illness in Legena.

Duke Reinhart:  You people have some very strange ideas. The more I come to know about Legena the more I wonder how you are able to survive and prosper at all.

Sluggo Jones:  If you don't mind, there is one more topic I hope we can discuss before we close this interview. And I really must thank you for giving me some of your precious time.

Duke Reinhart:  I assure you this has been a great pleasure for me to be able to accommodate you and your press agency. I hope it can lead to a better understanding between the people of Legena and our small, but very nice I assure you, Grand Duchy. What is your next question?

Future of the Wine Area

Sluggo Jones:  The part of nearby space many people and nations have recently come to call the Wine Area is populated by comparatively smaller nations like yours. Some of these nations, again like Gewürz, are just recently emerging on what might be called the local international stage. What do you see for the future of these nations? Can they survive in the international tug-of-war between larger powers and alliances? Or will they essentially become absorbed by one or more of the great powers?

Duke Reinhart:  Well, we certainly don't intend to become absorbed by any outside powers of any size. Things are always fluid, of course. And there are often times when some fool country takes it into their head they can dominate or take over its neighbor.

We're not going to let that happen to Gewürztraminer. We may be small now, but we intend to grow and expand where such growth is necessary and appropriate. We're exploring the possibility of forming into defensive alliances with some of our neighbors. And we feel there are instances where it might be more logical if some of our smaller neighbors, those who support cultural values not too very different from our own, joined us as part of a greater whole.

Sluggo Jones:  Would that joining be voluntary?

Duke Reinhart:  Well, of course. But one must recognize that in the ebb and flow of history it is only natural for some powers to grow bigger and stronger while others join the larger in fulfilling its destiny. The Grand Duchy of Gewürztraminer fully intends to be one of the former and not the latter.

Sluggo Jones:  How prepared would you judge your military to be to protect or advance your interests in the Wine Area?

Duke Reinhart:  We are very prepared to do whatever may be necessary. And we have plans to enhance those preparations.

Sluggo Jones:  Would you care to elaborate on those plans?

Duke Reinhart:  No. Perhaps some other time.

A Strange Ending

Duke Reinhart:  But now I see the time we have available is quickly coming to an end and there is something I would really like to explore with you before my next scheduled meeting.

Sluggo Jones:  And what would that be?

Duke Reinhart:  (Again putting a hand on Sluggo's shoulder as he grows closer. But this time moving his hand slowly down the reporter's back near his waistline.) I understand it is quite common for men and women in Legena to play both ways. Yes? (He asks as he raises his brows expectantly.)

Sluggo Jones:  Well, yes. Many do. But certainly not all of us. It's a matter of personal choice and the situation at the moment. If you are proposing what I think you are proposing, I have to tell you I'm not interested. (Says Sluggo as he begins to back away from the Duke.)

Duke Reinhart:  Oh, come on!  I'm the leader of a Grand Duchy, after all. Wouldn't that be quite a feather in your cap?

[According to Sluggo the Duke continues to advance upon him with a smile of anticipation. At this point it's clear from his body language the Duke is quite sexually aroused. Sluggo warns him to back off or he might be surprised by the consequences. The Duke continues to advance while Sluggo continues to back away.]

Duke Reinhart:  Don't be coy, Sluggo. Neither of us are wearing any clothes. This won't take long and it will be quite fun!

Sluggo Jones:  I'm telling you, I'm not interested! You'd better stop and leave me to go peacefully. My news service is expecting me to return immediately on the five o'clock ship. This is your last warning!

[But the Duke continues to advance. The hand on Sluggo's waste moves down to cup his buttocks. With his other hand the Duke reaches up for Sluggo's shoulder.]

Sluggo Jones:  Shield on max!!

[Like many Legenians, Sluggo had previously set his maximum protective shield level  to instantly clear a five foot space around him in every direction. The moment he shouted his command the Duke was knocked away with a sudden violence which bowled him over two or three times. Sluggo shot up five feet in the air and continued to hover there above the ground. The Duke's guards sprung into action; surrounding the floating Sluggo in a circle and raising their laser rifles to aim right at him.  They did not immediately fire, but awaited a command from their Duke. His Majesty, moaning quietly, rolled over onto his back before getting slowly to his feet.]

Duke Reinhart:  Hold your fire. Stand down. It's okay, Sluggo. You can come down now. You're free to go. You won't be harmed. And I hope this incident will not be reflected in your report.

[Sluggo quickly made his exit and returned to our offices as expected on time.]

********   LNS Headline News   **************

Gewürztraminer Government Lodges Formal Complaint with Legena Over LNS Article

"We have been slandered!" Declares Gewürz Duke. Demands formal apology from LNS and Legena government. And firing of reporter Jones.

Legena rejects Gewürz demands. "We believe in a free press," government declares.

LNS refuses to fire Sluggo Jones. Promotes him instead and sends him on nationwide speaking tour.

Gewürz and Other Wine Area Countries Become Butt of Late-Night Comedian's Jokes.

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